Cage Match

I just read that the Kansas City Chiefs agreed to a five-year contract with tight end Tony Gonzalez and was going to write that he qualifies as "my most famous -- and wealthy -- student ever." But then I remembered that I also taught Tom Anderson of MySpace, though in a less conventional capacity, and realized that he is almost certainly wealthier than Gonzalez, since inviting Sir Rupert to take the financial reins, and is actually more famous, though in a more ambiguous way. Maybe they should square off in the ring in an epic demonstration of Bear-baiting. Needless to say, though, I'm pulling for tommix to top both of them by perpetrating some brilliant act of intellectual sabotage that will forever alter the course of civilization and make him so wealthy that he invites me out for wild nights of beef eating. And I say that despite the fact that he is, sadly, a Wildcat.