Absent Without Leave

Although I had a brief panic attack this morning before realizing the date, most of the day lacked that sense of gravity that had distinguished previous September 11ths for me. The fact that some of my friends were commemorating the 1972 debut of BART only added to the oddness of the experience. Acknowledging the historical significance of the date, but for an entirely different reason than I would have expected, did a number on my mind. I suppose it's good that we've moved on from the feeling, powerfully reinforced by the Bush Administration, that everything must be perceived in terms of 9/11. But I still missed the intensity of previous commemorations. If nothing else, I'd like the historical event to remain an active topic because I feel that September, 2001 is when my life took a major turn for the worse from which I have yet to escape. That's a selfish though, I know. Nevertheless, it still seems better to me than altogether failing to remember.