Little Things

[cbertsch]

I'm in one of my word-poor phases. Even a few sentences like these are a struggle. But I'm actually feeling pretty good, all in all. I'm slowing down to take pleasure in simple activities, like sharing cartoons with my daughter, playing with the cats and even making the walk back up the hill from where we now have to park one of the cars we drive. Aside from work, which is extremely taxing this semester, I am also devoting a lot of energy to reorganizing my house -- which involves rotating a great number of books -- and also exerting myself to not do the little things that drive those around me nuts. That last task poses quite a challenge, since I have long been in the habit of letting my everyday frustrations out in the form of facial expressions and dismissive non-semantic sounds. I still have plenty to trouble me, obviously, but am seeking out a different outlet for my stress than my immediate interpersonal environment.

Comments

[e4q.livejournal.com]

awareness is a good start.

hmmm. actually, i think it is the ONLY start!

[cbertsch.livejournal.com]

I think so too. There are many layers and folds of awareness of which to be mindful, however. I am learning to be aware in ways that I previously suppressed, even if I thought, back then, that I was not without awareness.

[e4q.livejournal.com]

that is the great trickster though! like when we do the pain course people claim at the beginning that they are really aware of their body, and by the end they are saying - hmm, not so much, because they have actually gained awareness. everybody thinks they are aware. knowing that you are not as aware as you would like to be is AWESOME.

you are virtually buddha! go you!

[cbertsch.livejournal.com]

If I could only finish sorting the vast stacks of books I have to rearrange in order to clean up the house, I'd feel a lot more buddha!

[e4q.livejournal.com]

buddha would just get on with it.

or sit under a tree.

whichever came first.

i think you have a lot to learn from max.

[cbertsch.livejournal.com]

Max is definitely an excellent pedagogue. But my attachment to books remains too strong for me to handle them without anguish.

[e4q.livejournal.com]

i know the feeling. i didn't have it with my books because my two big culls came when i moved house a lot and started seeing books as heavy objects, and when i went mad, and was ill and my books taunted me so i got rid of them. i now have a very small capsule library, as you may imagine.

clothes, however, are a totally different matter. i have strange and complex relationships with clothes.

[e4q.livejournal.com]

gosh, suddenly that sounded rude!

i rather meant that you *could* learn a lot from max - he sounds like a wise turtle.

[quuf.livejournal.com]

facial expressions and dismissive non-semantic sounds

Don't forget to scratch, while you're at it. :)

[cbertsch.livejournal.com]

Oh, the stories some could tell. . .

;-)

[cbertsch.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad that you saw those. I have four more in the queue, but have just been too busy to give them the time they deserve.